So… As many of you know, at 17 I was diagnosed with Ulcerative colitis. I suffered quite badly, the condition itself was very severe and my body was giving up. The only option I had was surgery so that was the route taken. I had a full proctocolectomy done in two stages, the second removed my rectum (fucking right it wrecked him, near killed him) several years after my first surgery as it was still severely infected and causing me problems.
It was at this point that I breathed a wonderful sigh of relief. My big, stupid colon was gone, along with the disease that affected it and although life was a bit more complicated in the long term (having an ileostomy and all) all the bad stuff was over. Boy was I wrong.
I’ve always had issues, the worst of which so far has been the dermatitis. It doesn’t heal and I’ve shown you the lesions I get every now and again that are seemingly unexplainable and incurable. I’ve had problems with nausea, cramps and “inconsistent” bowel movement from the day I had my ileostomy put in but I was just told that was par for the course and I had to deal with it, pathology showed it was colitis, not crohn’s. My Consultant at the time said I confused him because I showed all the signs of Crohn’s disease but the pathology didn’t match up.
Fast forward to about 6 months ago and I had been getting really bad bouts of nausea (worse than normal), I was losing my appetite and I was suffering intermittently with bad abdominal pain. I had just started a new job and was maybe a little stressed through my want to impress but nothing I considered bad. I pushed on as it got worse and worse but I kept convincing myself it was fine and it would pass. When I first seem my current consultant he confirmed what I had been told by several doctors between the Royal A and E and an NHS consultant, I either had adhesions caused by scar tissue or crohn’s disease had developed. Adhesions were ruled out with MRI and CT scans so I had the OGD and ileoscopy. Now I’m looking at either a severe bacterial infection or, and most likely, crohn’s disease. Oh Joy.
Now for some statistics. It seems that, so long as my diagnosis goes on Friday the way I expect it to, I have went from a Ulcerative Colitis sufferer to a Crohn’s colitis sufferer. If so, I am a member of one of two parties. Party one is the 10%. The one where 90 people are dressed as mermaids for the under the sea dance and 10 of us show up wearing cowboy suits like a bunch of dicks. Basically, the two diseases can be so similar that the pathological testing of my colon post surgery could have given anomalous results, So basically, I could have been running around with crohn’s disease all these years none the wiser. Or I’m in party two. This party is filled with under 10% of us. This is the one where the dicks show up to the theme dance, don’t even make an effort then complain that the party is shit and they want to go home. If I’m heading to this party, it’ll mean I developed gastroduodenal crohn’s at some point in the last few years. Although possible, due to the vast numbers of people currently being diagnosed with IBD’s (irritable bowel diseases) statistically the chances of it happening are rare. My consultant seems to be leaning towards the later option, that I’ve been unfortunate enough to develop Crohn’s after suffering from Ulcerative Colitis. To be honest I think it’s because no one wants to second guess my old consultant because he was the fucking man. Oh, and apparently he is incredibly frightening.
So yeah, that’s where I am right now. Statistically I’m in the key age bracket for IBD development (18-29) and considering my past with bowel troubles, diseases and surgery, I can’t say I’m shocked. As I explained before I’m being super negative to save my brain should the worst news come, so I apologize for seeming so certain over something that isn’t. I just look at this as another string to my already full bow of disease (that sounds like a nickname for someone’s penis, “the bow of disease”.) I mean, I’ve been through this before and the first time was much worse. I’m probably more uncomfortable on a regular basis than the time before but no ass means no diarrhoea which is blooming marvellous. The worst thing about first time round was the constant fear or shitting my pants, the pain and nausea I can deal with. Life is always better without danger farts in public.