My Wee Fuckin Regime (My Guide to Weight Loss)

So, most of my posts have so far been about how shit everything in, so for once I am writing with an air of positivity (I’m sorry if I fail, but pessimism is pretty much my religion). I’ve said before about how I’ve focused a lot on losing weight. There are a huge amount of reason for me to do this. Get healthier, stop being fat, gain a semblance of self-confidence, hope that someone somewhere might find me attractive. I basically got sick of being this fat fucker who was dependent on all the wrong foods for all the wrong reasons. I’ve tried loads of times before to bring these kind of lifestyle changes (I don’t diet, this is a long term solution) but I have always failed. I’ve tried loads of different things but they were always so strict and inflexible that I would end up falling off the wagon. I’m odd because at my heaviest I was 19 stone and 8 pound, but I didn’t look anywhere near it. I’m a big fella, tall, big legs, big chest and arms, so I carried my weight quite well. Everyone told me I wasn’t fat I was just a bit overweight and I could fix it. I was fat though, I know I was so no matter what anyone else ever tried to tell me I knew what I thought was the most important. I had made a decision to change my lifestyle a while ago and when me and the girlfriend broke up, I found this real motivaiton to better myself. I think I got so into it because it gave me a focus and acted as a distraction.

At first, I got really into my exercise, as well as the diet change. I was addicted to cycling, so much so that I was doing two sessions a day of one hour and still being restless. I would just look at my exercise bike and think “if I don’t get on that and cycle my legs off right now I am going to have a fucking panic attack”. I knew the key to weight loss was creating a large enough calorie deficit and eating the right foods but the exercise gave me leeway and allowed me to eat more which at first was helpful. After A few weeks, I really started to lose my appetite. I had started new medication and depression and anxiety can also have that effect on you apparently. I hardly ate because I was never hungry, I wasn’t hungry because I was so anxious and worried about everything. I ended up having to schedule meals and force myself to eat them. I knew that not eating is detrimental to weight loss and can lead to you storing even more fat from what you eat so I had to work hard to not succumb. After A month, I’d lost about a stone and was feeling so much better, healthier physically and my energy levels were up. I was really enjoying exercising but then I got that skin ulcer on my stomach. With it being where it was, right under my stoma and where my bag attaches to my skin, gravity was my enemy. My bag constantly pulls a small amount that I don’t feel, but with the ulcer I felt it constantly and it was agonising. I had to stop exercising, which didn’t help me with all the excess energy. I lost the cathartic benefit of the exercise and it made me mental health take a bit of a down turn.

Now though, the ulcer is healing and I’ve been exercising hard for the last two weeks. I kept up the diet when I wasn’t exercising and still lost a lot more weight. Diet is 90% of the battle and I have overcome all the obstacles I met in the past. I have a horrible sweet tooth but I’ve went cold turkey on sugar and I don’t get the craving for it anymore. I’ve combined elements from a few different things I’ve tried over the years. I read a book called the Four Hour Work Week recently which was a great help and I got a lot from it, but the diet in it was so rigid that I couldn’t stick to it. I’ve tailor made that and added a few other things to suit my needs.

One of my biggest issue, as someone with an ileostomy, is my 5 a day. I can’t eat fruit or vegetables in even moderate quantities, otherwise the shit flies out of me like nobodies business, I get dehydrated and eventually get sick. I’ve pretty much had to cut them out of my diet completely, which is tough. I also can’t eat nuts which are a key element for getting good fats into your diet, so I’ve had to work around that too. I therefore get most of my major nutrition (i.e. vitamins and minerals) from supplements. I take a multi vitamin and I also take sea kelp and Acai Berry everyday. They’re both great, they help boost your metabolism and curb your appetite which was a big thing for me. I also drink a lot of tea, green and standard, and coffee because caffeine is amazing for fat burning. I can’t take actual fat burners because of my anti-depressants (apparently you turn into a crazy if you combine them) so I make it up with those. I also drink about 5 litres of water a day which is probably the most important thing for me, I get dehydrated so easily so this helps a lot (obviously). I don’t eat fast food anymore (I’ll have something healthy from the chinese) and I avoid as much processed food as possible. Thing is, I don’t punish myself needlessly. I’ve spoken to dieticians and professional coaches who have told me eating things like back bacon, sausages and many other things are ok. I eat bacon and eggs almost every day. There are ways of getting replacements for fast food that still taste good, for instance I make home made oven chips with olive oil, garlic and chilli and they are amazing.

It hasn’t been easy, especially with my recent emotional turmoil and downturn in physical health but I kept at it, I pushed through and I am actually really proud of myself. I am now 17 stone 1 pound, a 2 and a 1/2 stone drop, though I still have 1 and a 1/2 to go to my next goal. I’ve lost 8 inches of my hips and 7 1/2 off my waist. I’m down a jean size and a shirt size, in fact the smaller jean size are a little bit too big on me now. My waist is a healthy 35 1/2 inches. My body looks the best it has in years, although I still have a bit of a belly and love handles, although they are substantially smaller than they used to be. It turned out I never had the motivation or dedication to stick to anything like this before but now I do. I’m doing this for me, the first thing I’ve done for me in years and it feels good. I feel good. I feel better about myself and although I’m not walking around like some kind of dickhead peacock thinking I’m the bees knees, I feel a bit more confident and positive about myself. I still have alot of mental and emotional issues to get through but I know if I keep at this and reach my goals that it is only going to help me with all the other negative facets in my life. I’m changing myself because I want to and need to and I feel good about it.

(if anyone wants more details on what I’m doing, because it is manageable and not too strict, then let me know and I can send you more details on exercise regimes, my diet and where to get supplements for a decent price)

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